“But if I must be alone, I refuse to be alone as if it were something weak and distasteful, like convalescence.” -M.F.K. Fisher

Grilled mussels in white wine sauce, grilled sweet corn and basil salad.

Five years ago I moved to Chicago for the second time and started a food experiment my first summer back to distract myself from not being able to find a job. I was almost a couple of years out of college but was still eating what I considered to be too much pre-packaged food. The challenge was to cook and eat in the way that I really wanted to: use whole ingredients, try out two to three new recipes per week, and cook seasonally. Two years in and I was still loving this cooking gauntlet when my partner and I ended our nearly decade long relationship. For a month afterward the only thing I could eat was lunchmeat turkey in a tortilla with melted cheese. I think I was firmly spiraling into month two when I was standing in the self-checkout line with a basket containing a bottle of wine, canned cat food, and an Amy's frozen meal (for the record if you have to go frozen, by all means, go with Amy's). I was becoming a "Cathy" comic strip. Before, when I had been cooking up a storm I had someone to share a meal with, who cleaned up after as part of keeping the domestic load balanced, and two shared incomes with which to attack the produce section of Whole Foods. It seemed like the default once I was single to eat chili out of a can, heated or not, what difference does it really make? After a few more weeks of wallowing and steadily increasing my sodium intake I decided to reinstate my project, new and improved with a tight budget.

I have been happily cooking for three years since then (ahem, not always solo). I have had many conversations with co-workers and friends who find it remarkable that I make beautiful dishes just for myself. I have a good friend who, when we were comparing what we ate for dinner the night before, told me that she boiled some chicken breasts and rice for her dog and then just decided to eat the other half. I asked if she would make that for dinner if she had a man or even a friend over, "Hey, come by for dinner I still have half of the dog's boiled chicken." At that moment it really pointed out that making a nice meal just for you is really about a valuation of self. It does take time, it does take effort, but are you not willing to reap the benefits if there is no audience or companionship? The photo above was one of the best meals I had this summer and it was just for me on my deck.

Even though I am mostly eating solo I don't modify recipes for single servings because I take leftovers for lunch. I do try to maintain a grocery budget of $50 to $60 per week and usually succeed. I still use only whole ingredients and I still cook seasonally.

Grilled corn with fresh basil, lime, cayenne
On a medium high grill place 2 ears of shucked corn (I remove the husks because I don't think it makes that much of a difference and I find that doing them properly with the husks on is more of a hassle than it's worth). Close the lid, check minimally  to allow heat and smoke to circulate. Once there there are some darker kernels on one side, rotate the ear. Continue rotating until corn is a brighter yellow and has some nice toasty spot all around.
Allow ears to cool before slicing kernels off on your cutting board. Transfer to a bowl and mix with a tablespoon of fresh basil, lime juice, salt, and cayenne to taste.

Grilled mussels with white wine sauce and grilled bread
On a hot grill place sliced Tuscan bread brushed with olive oil. Close the lid to get the maximum smokey flavor. Make sure the mussels are already de-bearded and scrubbed, they usually are, rinse them well and discard any that are open.

White wine sauce-
In a small saucepan combine: 1/4 cup of lemon juice, 3 T butter, 1 clove of mined garlic. Once the butter has melted and the garlic smell like the best thing ever, add half a cup of dry white wine, 1/4 t crushed red pepper, salt to taste.

On a hot grill place 1 pound of rinsed mussels (make sure they are all laying flat so you don't loose any of the juices once they open), close the lid, they are done in about two minutes. Once the shells are open remove from the grill and place in a large bowl, again try to avoid tipping them before they are in the bowl to preserve all of their briny liquid. Pour white wine sauce over mussels. Enjoy with grilled bread, the corn salad, and the rest of the white wine.

Cost
Mussels- $4.99/lb
Corn- .20 (on sale, 10 for $1)
Bread- $3.50
Wine- $8
Extras for sauce probably about $1.50 if they are things you already have. I had to buy a lemon.

Total per serving: about $8.99